In celebration of 3 years: Lydiaisms

Lydia is three years old today.

Lydia with the birthday balloon she selected for herself.

I cannot believe she is growing so fast. And yet, with some of the things she says, sometimes I can't believe she's just turning three. In celebration of her witticisms and sly sense of humor, I present some gems I've kept track of over the last year of her life:

Post-nap, inexplicable tantrum.

5/6/12
"I don't want to go to night night in my big girl bed."

6/16/12
Lydia upon seeing a stuffed Angry Birds toy at Target: "Are those mad penguins?"

6/19/12
"Isn't daddy sexy?" while looking at a photo album with pictures of Jeff.

6/27/12
Me: "OK! It's bath time!"
Lydia: "I want to cuddle on your bed."
Me: "Oh, OK!" (cuddling commences)
Lydia: "I love you!"

7/22/12
Lydia: "I don't have a tail. I have a butt only. I can jump with my butt!"

8/13/12
As Lydia and Jeff Schram are having a rave dancing to The Glitch Mob, Lydia screamed at me, "Mama! You can dance - you have a tutu!!" 
For the record, I was wearing a skirt. 

Typical outfit for a basement dance party.

8/26/12
Mommy: "Do you want to go to church today?" 
Lydia: "Yeah!" 
Mommy: "Are you going to play with kids?" 
Lydia: "I'm going to cry and say, 'I want my mama.'"

Lydia the tattooed lady.

8/28/12
Lydia: "I farted!" 
Me: "Oh, yeah, I smell it. That's stinky." 
Lydia: "Yeah. It's a deep, dark fart."

9/7/12
Conversation that ensued when I went to get Lydia out of bed: 
Me: Opens door. 
Lydia: "Hi, Laura." 
Me: Laughs. 
Lydia: "Are you Laura?" 
Me: "Yes, but you're supposed to say, 'Hi, Mommy.'" 
Lydia: Laughs. 
Me: "C'mere. Gimme a hug!" 
Lydia: "No. Let's go downstairs."

9/27/12
Insight from Lydia on breast feeding: "That's not chocolate milk in your nipples."

10/3/12
"The whole wide world is my cookies."

Penny the pumpkin.

10/16/12
Me after Lydia fell in the mud: "We just need to change your pants."
Lydia: "We need to put on some new hand-me-downs."
10/22/12
Lydia's position on the philosophical debate about the moral status of plant life: "Apples and oranges don't talk."

A Michigan football Saturday.

10/27/12
We drove by Cobblestone Farm and said to Lydia, "That is where mommy and daddy got married!" 
She said, "Are you still married?"

11/4/12
On a new cheese sample: "It's like feta. It's stinky and yummy."

11/9/12
Lydia: "I wanna breast feed." 
Me: "You can't breast feed until you have a baby." 
Lydia: "I have a baby. A baby sister."

First underwear. She picked "Cars" themed.

11/20/12
Lydia's response to my statement that she is being rude: "I like to be rude."

11/26/12
Lydia says she has to sell tofu so she can "festicate." 

12/2/12
Me: "You can just sip your soup out of the bowl since that's how they do it in Japan." 
Lydia: "Where's Japan?" 
Me: "It is far away across the ocean." 
Lydia: "I wanna go to the ocean and find Japan."

12/7/12
Lydia was pretending to make me a pie, and I asked her, "Is it pumpkin pie?" 
"No, it's donut pie," she replied.

12/21/12
Lydia looked in her potty and told me, "I pooped a 's'!" 

1/4/13
Lydia: "I just got married!" 
Me: "What? Married?" 
Lydia: "I got pretend married." 
Me: "Who did you marry?" 
Lydia: "I married myself."

1/16/13
Lydia, whining. 
Me: "What's up?" 
Lydia: "I wanna love you." 
I try to hug her. 

Lydia's first Christmas concert.

Lydia: "Don't do that!!" 
Me: "OK!" 
Lydia, whining, "I LOVE YOU!" 
Me: "I love YOU, too!" 
Lydia" "DON'T SAY THAT!!!!!"

1/20/13
Lydia: (Burps.) 
Me: "What do you say when you burp?" 
Lydia: "Hai-YA!" (accompanied by a karate chop.)

1/27/13
Me: "Lydia, why are you throwing your costumes all over the floor?" 
Lydia: "I'm just sprinkling them."

2/7/13
What Lydia told me when I went into her room in the morning: "I can't get outta this bed cuz it has poop on it."

2/8/13
"I want to float in the air like Mary Poppins. I can do that when I get bigger." 

2/15/13
Lydia: "I want everyone to go to work." 
Me: "Really? Why?" 
Lydia: "I wanna be home by myself." 
(Long silence as I contemplate that this conversation shouldn't happen for at least 5 more years.) 
Me: "You can't stay home by yourself for a loooong time. Not until you are 12 years old." 
Lydia: "I'll do that tomorrow. When I wake up I'll be 12 tomorrow."

2/28/13
"My baby sister's not gonna go back in your belly."

3/8/13
"Mom, go away so I can be naughty."

3/31/13
Me: "Lydia, how was church?" 
Lydia: "The play church was really awesome, mom."


4/12/13
"Are you my real mom?"

4/14/13
Lydia: "Mom, you're married." 
Me: "Yeah. Who am I married to?" 
Lydia: "Me!"

4/16/13
As I attempted to get Lydia dressed after bath time, she informed me: " Mom, I'm a pirate. Pirates don't wear underwear."

4/19/13
Lydia is curious about other languages and kept asking me how to say things in various languages. She asked, "How do you say 'taco' in Spanish?" 

4/23/13
"Princesses don't pick their noses."

4/29/13

Jumping off her birthday gift.

While driving in Kerrytown, Lydia informs us: "This is near Zingerman's, guys." 

5/4/13 (Her birthday)
Her thoughts on her Toy Story cupcake that we baked together: "It's yum."