I'm old fashioned, but I don't mind it.

While I love me some Ella Fitzgerald, I have no sense of whimsy and charm when the lyrics of "I'm Old Fashioned" keep popping into my brain these days. I find myself standing baffled and disgusted before the micro-mini frayed denim skirts in the toddler section at Kohl's, angered by the bikinis for infants in the Zulily promotional e-mails, and offended by the illustrations on pre-school board games.

When I was a kid, I loved the game Candyland. I mean, what can be more exciting to a child than drooling over gumdrops and ice cream on your race to a Candy castle? So needless to say, I was super excited when my sister-in-law got us the game for Lydia at Christmas this past year. I couldn't wait to play it with her and watch her enjoy it. Until I opened the box, and saw how Candyland has been sexed up. Because apparently being sweet - literally and figuratively - is no longer good enough for a preschool board game. You have to be sexy sweet in the "pour some sugar on me" kind of way. Princess Frostine looks like Paris Hilton - pouty lips, big eyes, and amplified bosom. When I saw this, I inwardly told myself to get over it, that it's not noticeable to Lydia. Within minutes, she remarked, "I like that princess!" I responded by telling Lydia that I didn't like her, and instead prefer the chocolate mountain grandma. Clearly noticing my chagrin, Lydia began referring to Princess Frostine as "the bad princess" every time we played the game together. Finally, I decided to tell Lydia it would be a fun art project to decorate our Candyland game with stickers, and I gleefully covered Princess Frostine up with several flower stickers.

I recently took Lydia to our pediatrician's office, and she wanted to read together in the waiting room. She selected a "My Little Pony" book, and I expected to feel nostalgia reading her a story about cute ponies from my generation. I was increasingly horrified as I turned each page. The storyline centered on the ponies forming a girl band and being fashionable, and the ponies themselves had been given a makeover - slimmer, bigger eyes, and fully accessorized. I didn't think one could sexualize "My Little Pony," but they have. The same is true for Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, and even my most beloved Anne of Green Gables. They've all been given sexy makeovers - slimmed down, bigger eyes, blonder hair, and a more "mature" look.

I wasn't even shocked when I heard recently that Justin Bieber was hired to sing for the Victoria's Secret fashion show, and that the company was aiming to capture more of the tween market. The marketing of increasingly sexualized products that objectify women and girls begins in preschool, so it's almost old news by the time girls reach their pre-teen years. All the research suggests that the sexualization of girls leads to negative outcomes for them - eating disorders, low self-esteem, decreased cognitive performance, etc. There are lots of studies on this, but one that keeps coming to my mind as I see more and more bikinis marketed for infants and toddlers is the Frederickson et. al. (1998) study that found that young women - not men - performed worse on math tests and consumed less food after trying on a swimsuit. Our girls are being bombarded with messages telling them that their self-worth comes from their outward appearance and sex appeal, and it feels almost impossible as a parent to battle the negative consequences. I can't use my "let's cover the bad picture with stickers!" technique for much longer...

I never self-identified as prudish, but now that I am a mother of two daughters, I find myself outraged at the barrage of sexualized images that increasingly surround children from such a young age. I find myself grimly singing, "I'm old fashioned, but I don't mind it" to myself quite a lot these days.

Luxuries

At CRLT, we have put together a team as part of the Active U campaign at the University of Michigan to live healthier lives. Someone on team CRLThriving (go team!) posted in our break room an article on mindful eating. I laughed maniacally as I read it and tried to envision implementing that habit at our dinner table. This led me to ponder what habits I didn't realize were luxuries. Below is my list:

"Plucking" by Becky EnVérité

Plucking my eyebrows.
Finishing a sentence.
Finishing a meal.
Chewing before swallowing.
Showering daily.
Flossing.
Relaxing on the couch.
Relaxing anywhere.
Reading a book.
Reading a page in a book.
Doing laundry.
Folding laundry.
Putting clean laundry away.
Hydrating.
Clipping my toe nails.
Drinking a cup of coffee before it goes cold.
Smooching my husband.
Arriving on time. Anywhere.
Going to the bathroom... by myself.
Getting in the car in less than 30 minutes.
Making a phone call.
Finishing a phone call without interrupting the conversation to talk to a child.

I asked Jeff if he had any thoughts on this. The majority of his habits that have become luxuries since parenthood were intimate in nature. Here are some daddy perspectives on luxuries that are rated G:

Watching a movie in less than 3 sittings.
Peace and quiet.